The Work of You

The Stories We Tell Ourselves

Jen Ostrich Season 1 Episode 11

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What if a story you told yourself wasn’t true? What impact are the stories you tell yourself having on how you live and lead? 

In this episode Jen explores how the stories we tell ourselves shape our reality—and often get in the way of truth, trust, and connection. She dives into what are stories, a framework called Ladder of Inference, real-life examples, and self-coaching prompts to help manage your own stories. When we don’t have all the facts, our brain fills in the gaps with a story. This happens almost instantly — and unconsciously. We rarely realize we’re doing it. Then add emotion and it really sticks. Our brains prioritize emotionally charged narratives because they feel more “true” and memorable — even if they’re based on assumptions rather than facts. Then we start selecting data that supports our story and ignoring data that doesn’t — reinforcing the same belief loop. This is when the story starts to feel like the truth, even when it’s not at all grounded in facts -- and that's when it causes trouble. 

Episode topics: 

  • How our brains creates stories
  • A framework to show how we move from fact all the up through data, meaning, assumptions, conclusions, beliefs, action =>  Ladder of Interference 
  • An example of how we travel up through the Ladder of Interference 
  • How stories can impact conflict, culture, and relationships
  • Ways to break the cycle of story making 

Coaching Prompts:

  1. What’s a recent situation where you made assumptions about someone’s intentions?
  2. What do you know for sure? What are you assuming?
  3. How might the story you’re telling be shaping your current actions or reactions?
  4. What would shift if you replaced that story with a question?

Resources | Links: 

Image of the Ladder of Inference

HBR Article: How to Use the Ladder of Inference

The Grow Effect Coaching Model 

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